Jr. spent some time throwing words at the UN today. Here're a few of my fave excerpts (Full text is here, so you can see what I'm taking out of context). MikE!, this is a long one, but pay attention. There's some good snide commentary in here:

We know that free peoples embrace progress in life instead of becoming the recruits for murderous ideologies.

Like "spreading democracy in the Middle East," right? Over 1,000 dead U.S. soldiers in Iraq, who died in the killing of thousands of Iraqis. To be sure, the U.S. troops were only shooting back...but only after they shot first.

This month in Beslan, we saw once again how the terrorists measure their success: in the death of the innocent and in the pain of grieving families. Svetlana Dzebisov was held hostage, along with her son and her nephew. Her nephew did not survive. She recently visited the cemetery and saw what she called the little graves. She said, "I understand that there is evil in the world, but what have these little creatures done?"

Not a fucking thing. What do you suppose that all the Chechan kids, oppressed by the Russian army who WON'T LEAVE CHECHNYA, did to deserve a military occupation for the sake of (can you guess?) an oil pipeline? Terrorists are awful, vile, despicable people, but they started off as normal folks who'd had enough and started to fight back with the limited weapons at their disposal. Which is to say, nobody blows themselves up on a crowded sidewalk as their FIRST resort.

Btw, all you FIGHT CLUB fans who hate terrorists? What the FUCK do you think the Space Monkeys were?

We're determined to destroy terror networks wherever they operate...

When we're not creating them in, say, Iraq.

...and the United States is grateful to every nation that is helping to seize terrorist assets, track down their operatives, and disrupt their plans.

Pet peeve here, but the rest of the world has been fighting terrorism for a loooooooong time. The U.S. is Johnny-Come-Lately to this one, but our government seems intent on presenting the idea that the rest of the world is just sitting on its collective ass, waiting around to help big 'ol 'Murrica leap into action. We've got such a damned ego. Just kills me.

Defending our ideals is vital, but it is not enough.

"Enough" appears to be to squash some of those ideals in favor of replacing them with the values of the conservative Right.

Because we believe in human dignity, America and many nations have joined together to confront the evil of trafficking in human beings.

We still, however, are cool with giving tax breaks to multinational corporations who pay workers in underdeveloped countries slave wages so that we can buy DVD players with pocket change and Levi's that cost less than a pizza.

Because we believe in human dignity, we should take seriously the protection of life from exploitation under any pretext.

Unless, of course, there's an unjustified war to be fought. That most of the world protested. That can't, apparently, be won until thousands and thousands more poeple die. That's still cool.

I...urge all governments to affirm a basic ethical principle: no human life should ever be produced or destroyed for the benefit of another.

Excuse me for a moment, please. My bullshit detector just exploded.

...America and many nations have acted to lift the crushing burden of debt that limits the growth of developing economies and holds millions of people in poverty.

Somehow, this apparently wasn't a good idea for our own country.

No other system of government has done more to protect minorities, to secure the rights of labor, to raise the status of women, or to channel human energy to the pursuits of peace.

He's speaking, in general, of democracy. Notice how he doesn't specifically mention the U.S. or, more specifically, his own administration. Too easy a target for the Left, I figure.

As members of the United Nations, we all have a stake in the success of the world's newest democracies. [Iraq and Afghanistan]

Is a country actually a democracy when it's run by a puppet government, warlords are the only rule in many places, and any attempt at registering a vote results in massive bloodletting? Not to say that at some point Iraq, et al, won't necessarily become psuedo-Western-style democracies, but they aren't there yet, Jr., and just saying it's so isn't going to change that.

The U.N. and its member nations must respond to Prime Minister Allawi's requests and do more to help build an Iraq that is secure, democratic, federal and free.

Um...didn't they want to come in waaaay back before the "coalition of the willing" gave Iraq its "freedom" and got told to go fuck themselves? C'mon, who the hell's waffling now?

So a terrorist group associated with al Qaeda is now one of the main groups killing the innocent in Iraq today...

See? SEE!??! I TOLD you that Saddam Hussein bombed the World Trade Center!!!!

These two nation will be a model for the broader Middle East, a region where millions have been denied basic human rights and simple justice.

A region that has helped to make my family and the families of friends very wealthy, while busily denying basic human rights and simple justice.

This commitment to democratic reform is essential to resolving the Arab-Israeli conflict. Peace will not be achieved by Palestinian rulers who intimidate opposition, tolerate corruption, and maintain ties to terrorist groups. The long-suffering Palestinian people deserve better. They deserve true leaders, capable of creating and governing a free and peaceful Palestinian state.

If I'm reading this right, Jr. is putting the blame on the Palestinians lamentable situation on...the Palestinians. As opposed to the people who're killing them, taking their land, and walling them off from their jobs & ancestral farms. And that would be who? Jr's pals, the Israelis. Interesting how he doesn't mention them as having anything to do with the situation, huh?

Boy, won't that just make the Middle East SO eager to get on Jr's good side?

May God bless you.

Dude, seriously, do you even begin to understand how many people you just offended?

Once again, for real, Jr. has delivered a speech full of noble language, full of idealism, full of promise and hope, all the while pretending that he hasn't done the things he's done over the last four years. And, astoundingly, it's better than even money that he'll get the big chair again in November.

Goddamn. We really are stupid fucking people, y'know?

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