The thing I'm working on has begun to demand of me bad story ideas. Not that it wants to be a bad idea itself (Heaven forbid!), but it wants one of the main characters to have bad ideas. Many, many, many bad ideas. And it's kinda funny, but after like the first three truly bad ideas I came up with, I'm kinda stuck. The first three were pretty good bad ideas, but after that I couldn't come up with anything but rehashes of E.T., THEY LIVE & LOVE STORY.

So, your mission, if truly you love your Billyhank, is to send me all your terrible, horrifying, disgustingly bad story ideas, resting assured that you will be given credit in the end of what will hopefully be a pretty decent novel. Think the Internet is fleeting fame? Try being a credit in a first novel by an unknown. You'll be permanently archived and almost completely anonymous. And the thought of that should bring joy to the preverse parts of your soul.

Sleep well, kids, and get those emails a'crankin. The addy's down to your left and time's a'wastin'.