Thursday, November 06, 2003

Next week sees the launch of the so-called "Miss Digital World" competition - a chance for designers and programmers to win a virtual beauty contest by sending their computer-generated e-Babes down the online catwalk.

Franz Cerami is the man with the plan and the artistic vision: "Every age has its ideal of beauty, and every age produces its visual incarnation of that ideal from the Venus de Milo in ancient Greece to Marilyn Monroe in the 1960s. Miss Digital World is the search for a contemporary ideal of beauty, seen through virtual reality," he expounds.

Yup, typical bloke's flim-flam for what is little more than a chance for hormonally-charged geeks to give flesh to their masturbatory fantasies. Mercifully, the organisers have some moral and ethical framework propping up this nonsense: "They [contestants] should not have taken part - not even as extras or cameos - in pornographic films, shows or plays nor have made statements...in any way out of tune with the moral spirit of the competition."

Okay, as a guy who's spent a ton of time online and can't really claim to be immune to the charms of the unreal, I've gotta say that this is just fucking pathetic. Truly. On par with Star-Wars-Wedding people and forty-year-old virgins who spent their nights learning conversational Klingon. Enough, kids. Go outside once in a while. Look at the sky, talk to a normal human being without the go-between of an IM screen. Have done with this pathetic attempt to live entirely inside your little boxes of silicon and solder. Get over and get out.

*GAH* What a fucking planet.

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