Heya kids. Slow day...Oh, wait-

Hey everyone. Greetings from planet earth.

Sorry about faking my death. I always knew my biggest supporters would play along until it was the right time for me to return. Yesterday, being the 20th anniversary, was a long enough time to go away. No one has ever gone away that long before. I've been documenting my adventures for the last twenty years in journals and will be posting some of the best stories from here. Mostly though, I've just been practicing transcendental meditation throughout various parts of the world while working odd jobs and keeping a low profile.


Uh, Andy Kaufman says that he's back.

Um.

Well, that's a pretty good joke, I s'pose.

Right-O.

Oh, yeah, passed a BMW Z4 on the Ave. tonight whilst riding my bike. A combination of crazy downhill momentum and a guy rolling slow, looking for chicks. No helmet, gloves, headlights or nothin'. Very hardcore. Buttons & Joe would've had an embolism at the sight of it. And then when I got home I realized that I busted ANOTHER fucking spoke on the back wheel, which means no riding tomorrow and a trip to Bikesport at some point this weekend to wheedle the Young into fixing just one more thing I've busted on his bike. S'just sad, really. One of these days, I'll be able to buy my own bike. With God as my witness, I will buy a friggin' bike, and I won't feel like such an asshole when I break it. An ass, perhaps, but not an asshole.

That's about it. Billyhank needs a shower and a smoke and some sleep. Sleep well, y'all, and have yerself some fun.

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