Monday, June 30, 2003

A man wielding a samurai-style sword killed two people and wounded three others at an Irvine supermarket Sunday before his bloody rampage ended with a fatal volley of police gunfire.

The deadly attack occurred about 9:35 a.m. inside the Albertsons at Culver Drive and Irvine Boulevard, when Joseph Parker, a 30-year-old bagger known for erratic behavior, entered the market where he worked and began slashing employees and customers, witnesses said.

He's 30 years old and bagging groceries? Jesus Christ, I'd be in a slice-n-dice state of mind, too.

Oh God, please let me a find a decent job in Seattle...

The surreal thing about this is not so much that a mentally ill guy in a mentally ill city on a mentally ill coast finally got shoved over the edge, but it's how the reporter lays it out. "Fowler, 45, director of ambulatory care at UCI Medical Center in Orange, was in the toothpaste aisle when she heard a woman screaming that a man had killed one of the workers." Was she looking at the Crest or the Mentadent? Cinnamon-flavored floss? What color toothbrush was she picking out? Have we gotten to such a consumerist point that this is where we've ended up? Or was the reporter just breaking down from having to report about a samaurai running amok in the local Albertson's?

They're all nuts. And I'm moving there. This is either gonna make me or just kill me flat out.

(Tipped this one from Warren)

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